Category: perspective

Recently you may have heard the term languishing. It’s that kind of “blah” feeling. Maybe you remember a time when you felt unmotivated, stagnant, not sad, but not-happy-either feeling. That is languishing and more and more people are expressing this feeling.

Languishing, What Is It?

The word languish means to fail to advance or make progress; the failure to be successful.  Think of a project that you put off or something you placed on the self that has just been sitting there. That’s languish. It’s a real valid emotion that may affect how you function in the world.

According to PyschCentral here are some signs:

• Moods that are not too high or too low (you’re not happy, but you wouldn’t say you’re sad either)
• Feeling unmotivated more often than usual
• Feeling unsettled but not highly anxious
• Difficulty focusing on certain tasks, especially some days more than others
• Feeling detached from life, tasks, or people but not experiencing negative emotions toward them
• Apathy toward life and difficulty getting excited about anything
• Fatigue and burnout
• Loss of interest in passions and hobbies
• Feelings of stagnation
• Feeling disconnected from your purpose in life

It’s extremely important to note that not everyone who is languishing will experience it in the same way or with the same intensity. In general, languishing may affect some of your decisions, behaviors, and emotions toward yourself, others, and the world.

How to Thrive in Languish

Now that we know what languishing is, how can we live to thrive or flourish instead?

In an article written on VeryWellHealth.com researchers Corey Keyes, PhD & Matthew Iasiello, MA look at mental health as multi dimensional.  That life satisfaction – a sense of earning, interactions with society & positive relationships – are all concepts that are tied to our sense of mental well-being.

So what can we do? Here are a few practices to consider:

• Mindfulness. Mindfulness involves intense focus and awareness of what you’re sensing and feeling, moment by moment, without judgment. It has been shown to help people relax and reduce stress.
• Physical well-being.  Moving our body for enjoyment, eating nutrient dense food, and allowing our body to have plenty of quality sleep are important for both physical and mental well-being.
• Journaling. The practice of keeping a journal can help you express your thoughts and see patterns in daily behavior. It can also be a space to focus on what you’re grateful for and what positive moments happened during your day. It may even help you identify signs of languishing early.
• Be creative. Exploring your creative side can help engage your mind and encourage focus in other areas of your life. Identifying a hobby that brings you joy can help to release your mind when it is feeling stressed. Many studies have shown that art therapy also helps to explore emotions without having to verbalize them.
• Maintain relationships. Languishing may make you want to shy away from social settings and isolate yourself. Keeping in touch with community, family and friends can be an important part of feeling connected and can help you feel supported.
• Change of scenery. Sometimes your environment may influence how you feel. A change of scenery could come in the form of time away for vacation, a walk outside, or heading to your favorite quiet spot to read a book. Maybe you need to switch up the environment of your daily routine. If you feel that your home or work environment may be contributing to languishing, try decluttering, changing the color of the walls, adding artwork, rearranging furniture, switching your workspace to a new room, or adding some fresh flowers or plants. As you introduce these small changes, notice how they affect how you feel.
• Volunteer for community service.  Socialization can be an important part of mental wellness for some people. Providing your community with a service, such as working at a food pantry, may not only help you feel connected to a higher purpose, but also improve the lives of people in your community.
• Learn new skills. Learning something new affects your brain and also helps you improve focus. It may even help you feel motivated and establish small goals that could build up a sense of accomplishment. This, in turn, could improve how you feel. Try out a new recipe, practice sewing, tend to your garden, pick up an instrument, learn to woodwork, the list goes on and on.
• Seek professional help. If you feel you’re doing a few things but your mood doesn’t improve, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

• Set clear goals and responsibilities for team members that you all agree on.
• Inquire about flexibility in work schedules.
• Ask for resources available to you as an employee.
• Give praise and acknowledgement to others.
• Be clear on how you like to receive constructive feedback, praise, and acknowledgement.

Taking the time to put these practices in place can take some time. Have grace and patience for yourself and those you are working with.

The Y is here for you. Talk with us to let us know what you are searching for and what you would like to accomplish as you venture on your well-being journey. And be sure to check out our resource page and programs to see what services we have to offer you. If there is something you are looking for but don’t see, please let us know.

We all face setbacks in our life. The term resilience (or resiliency) is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things may not go exactly as we had planned. Some of us may appear as if we handle those situations with more grace than others. We may even find ourselves admiring those who are resilient, wishing we could be too. What is important to know is that resilience isn’t necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. Rather resiliency involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that anyone can learn and develop. This post is to help you learn more about resiliency and how you too, have the grace of resiliency living in you.

What is Resilience?

Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.

Those with high resilience may not spend a lot of time dwelling on the failure or set back; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and move forward. Being resilient doesn’t mean that a person won’t experience difficulty or distress. People who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives commonly experience emotional pain and stress. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress.

According to the research of psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience.  You can find her full quote and descriptions in an article on www.mindtools.com:

1. View Difficulty as a Challenge – People who are resilient look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth, not as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.
2. Commitment & Purpose – Those who are resilient are committed to their lives and their goals, and feel they have purpose and a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. They commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, their religious or spiritual beliefs, and to their work.
3. Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident.

10 Ways to Build Your Resilience

The good news is you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude.  Here are some ways to incorporate some resilient behaviors into your daily life:

1. Learn to relax. When you take care of your mind and body, you’re better able to cope effectively with challenges in your life. Develop a good sleep routine, try out a new exercise or use physical relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation.
2. Practice thought awareness. Resilient people don’t let negative thoughts derail their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. This means listening to how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong – if you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalized, correct these thoughts in your mind.
3. Edit your outlook. Practice cognitive restructuring to change the way that you think about negative situations and bad events.
4. Learn from your mistakes and failures. Every mistake has the power to teach you something important, so look for the lesson in every situation. Also, make sure that you understand the idea of “post-traumatic growth” – often people find that crisis situations, such as a job loss or the breakdown of a relationship, allow them to re-evaluate their lives and make positive changes.
5. Choose your response. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond: we can choose to react with panic and negativity, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you.
6. Maintain perspective. Resilient people understand that, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.
7. Set some goals for yourself. If you don’t already, learn to set SMART, effective personal goals that match your values, and that can help you to learn from your experiences.
8. Build your self-confidence. Remember, resilient people are confident that they’re going to succeed eventually, despite the setbacks or stresses that they might be facing. This belief in themselves also enables them to take risks: when you develop confidence and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep moving forward, and to take the risks you need to get ahead.
9. Develop strong relationships. People who have strong connections at work are more resistant to stress, and they’re happier in their role. This also goes for your personal life: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you’re going to be, because you have a strong support network to fall back on. (Remember that treating people with compassion and empathy is very important here.)
10. Be flexible. Resilient people understand that things change, and that carefully-made plans may, occasionally, need to be amended or scrapped.

Building your resilience takes time and practice, like anything else. The Y is here for you on this journey.  Please check out our listing of local resources available as well as give our Y VirtuWell Coaches a call to help you set and establish SMART goals that fit your health priorities.

At the Y, a supportive community is a big part of wellness. At every age and every level of activity, you’ll find people just like you looking to live a little bit healthier. Many of our most our active participants are 50 years old and older – or as we call them 50 and better! So we decided to embark on a project to change society’s view of aging. We hosted a Gen-All Video Premier Party in September and debuted this video that provides a glimpse of different perspectives on aging from those ages 8 to 82.

Before watching the video, the audience participated in an electronic survey about aging. Among the results:

• 60% did not consider any age to be “old”
• 23% were afraid of getting “old”

Following the video, a panel of those age 17 to 99 shared their personal experiences about again. Both the video, the survey and the panel discussion opened the door for dialogue on how our community can grow from the enrichment of all ages.

At the conclusion of the event, we surveyed everyone again and found their views on aging were positively changed. Among the results:

• 84% did not consider any age to be “old”
• 6% were afraid of getting “old”

The Gen ALL video continues to air at all First Coast YMCA locations, Tiger Academy Charter School classrooms, social media platforms, community centers and other various partner locations throughout Northeast Florida. It has also been recognized by the YMCA of the USA.