Category: For a better us

Recently you may have heard the term languishing. It’s that kind of “blah” feeling. Maybe you remember a time when you felt unmotivated, stagnant, not sad, but not-happy-either feeling. That is languishing and more and more people are expressing this feeling.

Languishing, What Is It?

The word languish means to fail to advance or make progress; the failure to be successful.  Think of a project that you put off or something you placed on the self that has just been sitting there. That’s languish. It’s a real valid emotion that may affect how you function in the world.

According to PyschCentral here are some signs:

• Moods that are not too high or too low (you’re not happy, but you wouldn’t say you’re sad either)
• Feeling unmotivated more often than usual
• Feeling unsettled but not highly anxious
• Difficulty focusing on certain tasks, especially some days more than others
• Feeling detached from life, tasks, or people but not experiencing negative emotions toward them
• Apathy toward life and difficulty getting excited about anything
• Fatigue and burnout
• Loss of interest in passions and hobbies
• Feelings of stagnation
• Feeling disconnected from your purpose in life

It’s extremely important to note that not everyone who is languishing will experience it in the same way or with the same intensity. In general, languishing may affect some of your decisions, behaviors, and emotions toward yourself, others, and the world.

How to Thrive in Languish

Now that we know what languishing is, how can we live to thrive or flourish instead?

In an article written on VeryWellHealth.com researchers Corey Keyes, PhD & Matthew Iasiello, MA look at mental health as multi dimensional.  That life satisfaction – a sense of earning, interactions with society & positive relationships – are all concepts that are tied to our sense of mental well-being.

So what can we do? Here are a few practices to consider:

• Mindfulness. Mindfulness involves intense focus and awareness of what you’re sensing and feeling, moment by moment, without judgment. It has been shown to help people relax and reduce stress.
• Physical well-being.  Moving our body for enjoyment, eating nutrient dense food, and allowing our body to have plenty of quality sleep are important for both physical and mental well-being.
• Journaling. The practice of keeping a journal can help you express your thoughts and see patterns in daily behavior. It can also be a space to focus on what you’re grateful for and what positive moments happened during your day. It may even help you identify signs of languishing early.
• Be creative. Exploring your creative side can help engage your mind and encourage focus in other areas of your life. Identifying a hobby that brings you joy can help to release your mind when it is feeling stressed. Many studies have shown that art therapy also helps to explore emotions without having to verbalize them.
• Maintain relationships. Languishing may make you want to shy away from social settings and isolate yourself. Keeping in touch with community, family and friends can be an important part of feeling connected and can help you feel supported.
• Change of scenery. Sometimes your environment may influence how you feel. A change of scenery could come in the form of time away for vacation, a walk outside, or heading to your favorite quiet spot to read a book. Maybe you need to switch up the environment of your daily routine. If you feel that your home or work environment may be contributing to languishing, try decluttering, changing the color of the walls, adding artwork, rearranging furniture, switching your workspace to a new room, or adding some fresh flowers or plants. As you introduce these small changes, notice how they affect how you feel.
• Volunteer for community service.  Socialization can be an important part of mental wellness for some people. Providing your community with a service, such as working at a food pantry, may not only help you feel connected to a higher purpose, but also improve the lives of people in your community.
• Learn new skills. Learning something new affects your brain and also helps you improve focus. It may even help you feel motivated and establish small goals that could build up a sense of accomplishment. This, in turn, could improve how you feel. Try out a new recipe, practice sewing, tend to your garden, pick up an instrument, learn to woodwork, the list goes on and on.
• Seek professional help. If you feel you’re doing a few things but your mood doesn’t improve, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

• Set clear goals and responsibilities for team members that you all agree on.
• Inquire about flexibility in work schedules.
• Ask for resources available to you as an employee.
• Give praise and acknowledgement to others.
• Be clear on how you like to receive constructive feedback, praise, and acknowledgement.

Taking the time to put these practices in place can take some time. Have grace and patience for yourself and those you are working with.

The Y is here for you. Talk with us to let us know what you are searching for and what you would like to accomplish as you venture on your well-being journey. And be sure to check out our resource page and programs to see what services we have to offer you. If there is something you are looking for but don’t see, please let us know.

We all face setbacks in our life. The term resilience (or resiliency) is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things may not go exactly as we had planned. Some of us may appear as if we handle those situations with more grace than others. We may even find ourselves admiring those who are resilient, wishing we could be too. What is important to know is that resilience isn’t necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. Rather resiliency involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that anyone can learn and develop. This post is to help you learn more about resiliency and how you too, have the grace of resiliency living in you.

What is Resilience?

Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.

Those with high resilience may not spend a lot of time dwelling on the failure or set back; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and move forward. Being resilient doesn’t mean that a person won’t experience difficulty or distress. People who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives commonly experience emotional pain and stress. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress.

According to the research of psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience.  You can find her full quote and descriptions in an article on www.mindtools.com:

1. View Difficulty as a Challenge – People who are resilient look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth, not as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.
2. Commitment & Purpose – Those who are resilient are committed to their lives and their goals, and feel they have purpose and a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. They commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, their religious or spiritual beliefs, and to their work.
3. Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident.

10 Ways to Build Your Resilience

The good news is you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude.  Here are some ways to incorporate some resilient behaviors into your daily life:

1. Learn to relax. When you take care of your mind and body, you’re better able to cope effectively with challenges in your life. Develop a good sleep routine, try out a new exercise or use physical relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation.
2. Practice thought awareness. Resilient people don’t let negative thoughts derail their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. This means listening to how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong – if you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalized, correct these thoughts in your mind.
3. Edit your outlook. Practice cognitive restructuring to change the way that you think about negative situations and bad events.
4. Learn from your mistakes and failures. Every mistake has the power to teach you something important, so look for the lesson in every situation. Also, make sure that you understand the idea of “post-traumatic growth” – often people find that crisis situations, such as a job loss or the breakdown of a relationship, allow them to re-evaluate their lives and make positive changes.
5. Choose your response. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond: we can choose to react with panic and negativity, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you.
6. Maintain perspective. Resilient people understand that, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.
7. Set some goals for yourself. If you don’t already, learn to set SMART, effective personal goals that match your values, and that can help you to learn from your experiences.
8. Build your self-confidence. Remember, resilient people are confident that they’re going to succeed eventually, despite the setbacks or stresses that they might be facing. This belief in themselves also enables them to take risks: when you develop confidence and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep moving forward, and to take the risks you need to get ahead.
9. Develop strong relationships. People who have strong connections at work are more resistant to stress, and they’re happier in their role. This also goes for your personal life: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you’re going to be, because you have a strong support network to fall back on. (Remember that treating people with compassion and empathy is very important here.)
10. Be flexible. Resilient people understand that things change, and that carefully-made plans may, occasionally, need to be amended or scrapped.

Building your resilience takes time and practice, like anything else. The Y is here for you on this journey.  Please check out our listing of local resources available as well as give our Y VirtuWell Coaches a call to help you set and establish SMART goals that fit your health priorities.

Everyone loves to play basketball at the Y, including long-time Y member Ethan Hawke, but there are plenty of other programs to try at the Y. Watch Ethan try something new.

For more than 160 years, the Y has been a place that brings communities together. Here on the First Coast, we have been committed to uniting, supporting and celebrating individuals and families for nearly 110 years.

We’re excited to share with you a new short film produced by YMCA of the USA that showcases the Y’s work as a vital nonprofit that makes a difference in 10,000 communities across the nation.

At our core, the Y is about helping individuals reach their full potential, and giving them opportunities to connect with their neighbors, all in service of making us better as individuals, communities and as a nation.

We are in this together.

Thank you for helping us make the First Coast stronger.

All kids have potential. From one child’s point of view, see the true impact of our words.

The Y nurtures the potential of every child and teen by supporting their unique youth development journey through holistic programming. From cradle to career, the Y provides all youth with the tools and resources they need to succeed in life. Click here to learn more about our Before and Afterschool Care and Early Learning programs.

The Y.™ For a better us.™

YMCA of the USA (Y-USA) today launched Zoe for President, a campaign to elect a one-year-old girl as our nation’s Commander in Chief…in 2064. The campaign highlights the potential the Y sees in all kids to grow up and change the world if they’re nurtured properly and supported along the way. Through Y initiatives like childcare, academic enrichment, mentorship, college prep, job training, and more, kids have the opportunities to succeed, grow, and one day, maybe even become president. The Y aims to impart the values of what it means to achieve—how hard work, determination, perseverance and character can drive someone to success beyond what they thought possible.

Like all candidates, Zoe has her own campaign website, ZoeForPresident.net, where users can donate to her campaign, watch videos of her stance on issues and shop for swag. When users donate to Zoe’s campaign, they are donating to their local Y and supporting the programs and services that enable kids like Zoe to thrive from childhood to old age.

“While Zoe for President is a breath of fresh air during a heated campaign cycle, every child, regardless of background, needs support and guidance to reach their full potential,” said Kevin Washington, president and CEO, YMCA of the USA. “Our campaign will address actual issues that America’s communities are faced with each day like access to early childhood education, safe space, meal assistance, and the Y’s role in solving the challenges head on.”

#ZoeForPresident Tweets

Zoe In the News:
The Y Nominates Zoe for President
Move Over Clinton, Trump: YMCA Backs a Toddler for President
Still Looking for a Candidate That’s Truly Likable? Meet Zoe
One-Year-Old Girl Runs for President in Latest YMCA Campaign

The New York Times – January 25, 2016

The Y.M.C.A. — or the Y as it is now known — has existed for more than 160 years and has never felt the need to advertise. After all, even without the help of the ubiquitous song from the Village People, most people know what the Y is.

Or they think they do. Concern that the public has misconceptions about the Y’s mission and programs has spurred the nonprofit to undertake its first national advertising campaign.

On Sunday night during “60 Minutes” on CBS, the Y unveiled two commercials as part of a rebranding effort that aims both to change the way the public perceives the organization and to raise money.

“Lots of people know and like the Y,” said Kevin Washington, the president of the Y-USA. “But they see it as a gym and swim place. We’re also a charity, and that is the missing ingredient. We want people to realize that we’re deserving of their charitable donations.”

Filmed outside Baltimore, the commercials both have 30-second and 60-second versions, and they are scheduled to run on major networks, sports stations and lifestyle channels.

While the Y has run public service announcements over the years, this is its first paid national advertising campaign.

In the first, a spot called “Places,” the camera pans over a low-income neighborhood and then pulls in. A voice-over says, “I’m here — can you see me? I feel like I’m invisible, like this whole place is invisible. If it weren’t for the nightly news, no one would even think of this place.”

The voice continues: “But down here things look different. Spirits are bright and our dreams are vivid.” Children are shown playing and riding bikes. Teenagers talk on a stoop. And then come shots of young people being engaged in a classroom at the Y, receiving counsel from an adult and diving into a pool.

The tag line: “When communities are forgotten, the Y remembers.”

In the second commercial, called “Idle Hands,” the tone is more ominous. A narrator intones, “Idle hands, they say they’re the devil’s workshop. Easy targets. Quick to kill time.” There are shots of children looking bored, wasting time and play fighting. Then students are shown working on crafts and other projects at a Y.

At the end of both commercials are reminders that the Y offers “safe spaces, after-school programs, mentorship, meal programs” and more. Then there is an appeal for contributions.

David Droga, the founder of the agency Droga5, which created the commercials, said he, like many people, had a “one-dimensional view of what the Y has to offer.” He added, “We have to rock people out of familiar territory.”

The organization’s effort to change its image began in 2010, and it included changing the logo and shortening the official name to the Y. The group also began highlighting the variety of programs it offers and its role as a community actor, an effort that it hopes the commercials will continue. The organization declined to say how much it was spending on the campaign.

Yet despite its need to compete for funding, the Y said its annual revenue had increased 31.5 percent over the last 10 years to $6.6 billion; about one-third comes from membership dues and the rest from program fees, the government, and contributions from individuals and foundations. The Y was listed as the sixth-largest in the Forbes 2015 ranking of the 50 largest charities in the United States. It is also serving more members. The organization said its nationwide membership was 22 million and that since 2000, the number of branches had increased by 11 percent to over 2,700.

Some branches have struggled financially, and some in cities, including Washington; Amarillo, Tex.; and Jackson, Miss., have been forced to close.

Nathalie Laidler-Kylander, a lecturer in public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School who is familiar with aspects of the Y’s rebranding, said it was important for older, established nonprofits to make sure public perception was in line with the organization’s current actions and goals. “For example, the Girl Scouts did a nice job of refocusing on women’s empowerment,” she said.

The campaign also has an interactive online component that will appear on the digital version of The New York Times beginning next month. For example, next to an article about obesity, an ad for the Y may appear, saying, “Help Make This News Better,” and promoting a relevant Y program, such as one for diabetes prevention. Readers will be given a number to text to donate.

The Y’s campaign appears to be addressing “what’s happening on the ground in today’s communities,” according to Aria Finger, the chief executive of Dosomething.org, a New York nonprofit that helps young people take action for social change. She added: “It’s not sugarcoated and it’s showcasing solutions.”

Josh Baran, chief executive of Baran Strategies, an agency that has run many cause-related campaigns, said the commercials showed “why the Y is relevant in the 21st century.”

“The big challenge, though, is that they can’t abandon what seems to be a main source of their income — the gym and swim,” he said. “They have to say, ‘But we’re all these other things as well.’ ”

Ms. Laidler-Kylander said a significant point was the authenticity about the Y promoting itself for its social responsibility and community work. “For instance, they aren’t just jumping into youth programs,” she said. “They’ve always done that.”

A major question is whether the new advertising will result in more donations.

“The Y seems like one of those institutions that will always be here,” Ms. Finger said. “They need to let people know they won’t be here without your support.”

For more information about how you can give to the Y, click here.